Thursday 29 August 2013

Meltdown Mary

Have you ever had your child lose their shit in front of someone so spectacularly and so completely that you honestly do not know what to do? In such an instance have you ever responded in such an entirely unexpected and inappropriate way that you worry that said people may just question your abilities as a parent?

I have and I did. 

Usually I can see a meltdown coming. Believe me, in the last 3.5 years Skye has given me plenty of practice. Today, not so much. Today I was taken completely off-guard by how quickly we went from zero to inconsolable. 

A surprise attack.

One minute we were discussing my need to feed Hayden before we went outside to play in our friends new sandpit and the next minute I was being screamed at. Not about the sandpit though, oh no, that would be logical. I was being screamed at because I had forgotten to pack some DVD's for our play date as per our discussion earlier that morning. 

Yes. Sorry about that. It must have slipped my mind what with the packing for swimming lessons and remembering to post the final house plans to the builder and answering the urgent emails and how about JUST BE FUCKING HAPPY YOU ARE HAVING A PLAYDATE WITH YOUR FRIEND DAMNIT!

Even as far as Skye tantrums go, this was a pretty good one. There was arm flailing and leg stiffening and teeth gnashing. It was truly a sight to behold. 

Tantrum level: Exorcist.

Right when I thought she was about to vomit on herself I looked at her and I just could not help myself.

I laughed. 

And laughed.

In a nervous, guffawing, can't stop myself, maniacal kind of way.

This did nothing for Skye's fit of rage. 

She wasn't terribly coherent at this point but she did manage to get out an IT'S NOT FUNNY! Before throwing a couple of swings at me. 

This made me laugh even more.

Parenting level: DOCS

Had we been at home she would have been put in her room at the first shriek, but I had not expected her to put on such as show in someone else's home. The sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing caused me to freeze. 

Was this really happening? 

Why is this even happening? 

Why the hell do I bother trying to do fun things? 

At that point, I really should have taken her home and put her straight to bed but Hayden still needed to be fed and it was such a beautiful day outside I thought taking her out to the sandpit would calm her down.

That was my second mistake.

Turns out my friends excited, jumpy little Jack Russell terrier was more than she could handle and once again she was off. Thank God we were outside because the noise she was making would have been deafening indoors. 

This time there was no laughing. 

Admitting defeat I loaded the kids and my multitude of DVDless bags into the car, made my apologies and got the hell out of there. 

It took me an hour to drive the 10 minute trip home because Skye and Hayden both fell asleep before I hit the first corner and I sure as shit was not going to wake them up before they were ready!

Got any tips for dealing with mega tantrums? 

Have you ever been so floored by a child's meltdown that all you could do was laugh???
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